In the stories I write, the male and female leads come together naturally, or their love and dislike are clearly defined; and never half-hearted. That in-between feeling belongs to real life, when neither person truly knows what they want, when they carry too many unspoken thoughts and quiet selfishness, only making life feel heavier and more desolate. And yet, that is also why life feels feel more ‘real’ than fiction. Fiction stories can be coloured in, embellished like the way the authors want, but most of the time in real life, no matter how much we want to, we simply cannot add any colours. The red thread of fate is not easy to tie, nor is it easy to sever. What often remains is the ingering regret.
At times, I think it is simply a matter of each person’s inner world. If those inner worlds align, they will surely intersect somewhere. Even if separated by rivers and distances, they will still find their way to one another. But if there is hesitation, fear, unreadiness, selfishness, the fear of loss, or the need to protect fragments of pride, that make it easier for two people to miss each other. The lack of sharing and honest expression, one person never quite understanding what the other wants, and they will once again pass by each other unintentionally. There is care, yet in the end, neither can step forward for the other.
But the red thread of fate is not easily tied, and once it is tied, there will be destiny that brings people back together. After all the restlessness and uncertainty, there will come a moment when the heart suddenly stirs, when one person realises that they must meet again, must hold on to each other, and cannot afford to miss each other one more time. All those tangled thoughts will eventually fade away. That, perhaps, is love: a sincere, primal love that cannot be measured or weighed.
I still believe in such a love.
It will come.
Soon.
Lam Hà 