Sometimes I still think about my family and life back in my home country as if my Mum were still there, only to be heart-breakingly reminded that she’s gone. Those moments come quietly, carrying a mix of feelings so tender I can hardly put them into words. Living more than 6,000 miles away from home, there are times I just want to call Mum, to tell her that I’m still okay, and that I miss her, deeply, endlessly.
Mum used to worry too much about me living in another country. Life had never been kind to her: it limited her in so many ways. As she grew older, those fears grew with her. Maybe that’s why I became a little reckless, wanting to live the life she never could. I’m not fearless; I know what I’m afraid of. I just choose to take on challenges and accept whatever risks may come.
Now I just wish I could tell my her that life is still beautiful; not entirely rosy, but that happiness can still be found somewhere along the way.
I used to wish her life had been easier, that she could have seen more of the world’s beauty. But now, all I wish for is that she had more peaceful days with me, with our family. Just simple, quiet, lovely days so I could see her smile again.
Lam Hà 